Childhood’s End

October 9, 2010

My youngest son has moved into his own house. he has flown the nest, left the coop. He is my baby no more. He has met his soul-mate and  they want to make a life together. So this week, that life together began.

Needless to say both sets of parents, grandparents, friends have been involved in the move! Food provisions by the ton! They will not need to shop for about a year! Wardrobes and chest of draws taken out of their flat-packs and assembled.    Beds, somehow transported up the stairs. Curtains being hung, bedding spread on  beds, clothes hung in the aforementioned wardrobes, mops, brooms, hoovers, irons etc. etc. put in nooks and crannies and lots of cleaning.

Now they are settled. Everything in place, apart from a few bits and pieces. For the first time, I recognised my son wasn’t a child anymore, he is a wonderful young man, in love and excitedly starting on a new  life. The realisation came as a bit of a shock, if I’m honest.

I have spent so many years cooking, cleaning, washing for him, watching him play rugby every weekend since he was 8, doing everything for him, it became a habit. In my mind, he was still the little boy who needed his mum to look after him. The reality of course is that he is more than capable of looking after himself and his partner. It’s only been this week, however, that the light-bulb moment happened for me.

I guess a lot of it, is not knowing when to let go. Not because I want him to stay with me, but because I never thought of him as a grown up! He has always been my little boy and I have kept him that way in my mind, even though the reality is that he has not been my little boy for a few years!

Now I perceive him in a different light, I’m able to see it that way. Now there has been a change, it has changed my long held outdated perceptions.

I wonder how many of us do hold on to people and situations, because we have done so for so long? We don’t let go, because we don’t realise or are afraid to admit to ourselves it’s time to. In our minds, we are maintaining the status quo. In reality we are stuck in our way of thinking, because we have thought that way for so many years.

I have been able to let go this week. When I saw how happy and excited my son and his partner were as everything came together, I accepted he was not a child any longer, not my baby. He is on the next stage of his journey of life.

I will always be his mum, my role has changed now. I will always be there to support and love him, but I have let him go in love.

I know they will have a great life.  They adore each other and are very happy and I love them both to bits. It’s time to move on, embrace and welcome the change! And my shopping bill will be at least halved!

I believe I have grown up a bit this week. Just like my son!

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