There is a lot written about forgiveness, particularly on the experience of forgiving others and ourselves. Jack Canfield says “True forgiveness is extremely cathartic; it will cleanse you and set you free.”
The act of forgiveness truly is empowering and just as powerful when we seek forgiveness for extreme hurt or anger we have caused people in our lives.
When we face them, ask for their forgiveness without allowing pride or ego to get in the way, we create our peace with them, so we are able to make peace and forgive ourselves. ”I’m sorry” carries a tremendous amount of power, as it is about letting go of being right and acknowledging the understanding of forgiveness.
If we deny ourselves this opportunity, it may always be eating away and chances are, it can affect how our life turns out, because we cannot experience the inner peace that comes from true forgiveness. Forgiving others and being forgiven enables us to forgive ourselves and being able to let go of the hurt and pain.
In his book “The Key” Joe Vitale says that he made a list of people he felt he had hurt. He then tracked them down and told them he was sorry for his behaviour. He describes it as doing his best to make peace with his past and that it was a wonderful feeling.
He also suggests that if we are unable to make direct contact for whatever reason, then write them a letter, even if you cannot get it to them. Just the act of doing so will have a positive outcome on how you feel.
I would urge that for it to truly be the most complete uplifting experience, where possible do your utmost to find them, no matter how long ago it was, or wherever they may be. Do your very best to seek them out face to face. Look them in the eye and tell them how sorry you are, ask for forgiveness and allow yourself to be healed.
In return it gives the other person the opportunity to forgive and to let go of their pain. It is said that
”To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you!”
And even if they refuse, you can be at peace. Colin Tipping, author of “Radical Forgiveness” states “What happened helped you awaken and grow. It was part of the curriculum to bring you where you are now. And from where you are you can attract miracles.”
Give them the gift of forgiving you, so they also can be set free. And if they are unable to accept the gift, forgive them and most importantly, forgive yourself!
Janet Wilks Nov 2010 www.adoptcoaching.co.uk