There is much written and spoken about “Positive Thinking” and “Positive Mental Attitude” and how we can change our lives for the better when we apply them and banish negative thoughts from our lives. I do believe totally that a positive mental attitude can make a huge difference to our lives, I also believe our negative feelings also have a part to play. Otherwise, why would we have been given them? I believe they can be as much a gift as positive feelings, if we understand how to deal with them.
We have negative feelings for a reason. If we suppress them and paper over them with a positive thought or feeling, then we are not getting to the root cause, because we are not acknowledging their existence.
Feelings are a feedback system. They are neither good or bad, they just are. They cannot hurt us, as they are not real. They are the way our subconscious, or inner self lets us know if we are on track (feeling good) or off track (feeling bad).
If we just acknowledge our good feelings and do our best to ignore or supress our bad feelings, we are not listening to the message our subconscious is giving us. And we should listen to all the messages we are sent from our inner self, not just the ones that make us feel good.
The best way to do this is to invite the feeling to make itself known and to ask what the message is. It means we are objective and disassociated from it as we are observing the feeling, rather than being in the feeling. We are then in a place where we can listen and understand what the message is and deal with it. So rather than just burying it, we bring it to the surface and resolve it.
Negative feelings play their part. How would we know happy if we did not know sad? How would we know joy if we did not know despair? We all need to experience negative feelings. We need to experience grief for a loved one’s passing. We need to experience the pain of lost love. If the only feeling everybody in the world ever experienced was joy, how would we know what joy is? We would have nothing to compare it to! It is the law of polarity.
That’s why we were given the ability to feel. Not just good, bad as well. The trick is to recognise and accept our feelings for what they are. Simply a message. A message from the all knowing power of our subconscious mind to our less than knowing conscious mind. All we have to do is listen to what the message is and know it is always, always, for our highest good! So the next time you feel sad, be glad!
Janet Wilks – Dec 2010 www.adoptcoaching.co.uk